someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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