I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i think my cat just said my name.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
