I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
