OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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