The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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