He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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