Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
