She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
