Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
