Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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