I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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