i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
