whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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