If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
