My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sext me about skeletons
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
