So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
