once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
