I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
