nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
are you so shy because you have an std?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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