doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
