Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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