wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
