you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
