Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Randomize
