At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
