She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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