His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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