I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
