GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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