Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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