You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
