So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
