I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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