I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
