even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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