I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize