the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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