don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize