you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
