Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
