Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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