:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
