So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
