I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
