he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
is it fun? or sober?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
