I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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