are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
