Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
