Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
