My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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