just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
