Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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