we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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