I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
