I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
