Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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