go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Hippo gnu deer
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
