Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
