I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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