I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
