If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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